Sunday, October 16, 2016

Sweet Dreams

A beautiful photo of my dad.  

Friday the 14th marked three weeks since the loss of my father.  Some days are mostly good while others are extremely difficult and filled with sadness.  I would have never imagined that such a loss could hurt so deeply.
 For three consecutive weeks I have dreamt of my dad.  At first my dreams were nightmares.  I dreamt of him suffering and dreamt of him dead.  His parents were the first people I had seen dead, yet they died with little to no suffering and left a body in peace.  Although my dad was at peace in his soul, his flesh suffered so much, especially in his last weeks.  It was tragic and scarring in ways my grandparents' deaths were not.  For about a week I could not get those images and events out of my head.  They haunted my nights and consumed my days.

 As the second week progressed, my mind began to feel more ease and I began to enjoy sleep once more.  Although the subject of my dreams has not changed, the content has.

My dad (center) with two of his older brothers.
Each night I dream of my dad.  I have another day to spend with him in good health and good cheer.  In  my dreams, I know that it is my last time with him, but he does not know.  I enjoy the day with him: chatting, going out to eat, or just sitting in a parking lot discussing health or faith--we did that a lot.  I miss it so dearly.  But each night, I get to do it again; even if it's only a dream.  I awake with tears.  Saddened that my dream has ended and that he is not here, but happy to have even these fantasies as experiences.  While I enjoy dreaming of other things as well, I hope that I never cease to have such wonderful dreams of my dad.

Until we meet again!

13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 15 For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord,[a] that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.18 Therefore encourage one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

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Here are some other posts you may like:
Losing My Daddy
God is My Portion and Strength Forever
Dealing with Overwhelming Feelings

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